J.B. Fletcher Fan Club

I like television. I really enjoy it and I am glad that I have the opportunity to watch it. That is not an easy thing for me to say to the world. I hear so many people with the “Turn off the TV, turn on life” message. It is not that I disagree with their message. I check in all the time to make sure I am not allowing a TV show to keep me from living my life how I want to. I read books and the newspaper. I go swing dancing a couple nights a week. I get together with friends. I spend time exercising and enjoying nature. I think critically about what I am watching so that I don’t allow the popular media to control my ideas. So, I am not going to turn off my favorite TV shows just to please someone else.

Speaking of my favorite TV shows, I love the crime solving shows. Not the ones that show suspenseful murder scenes or dramatic car chases. I like the ones that focus on untangling the clues (often called “forensics” on TV these days) to figure out how the crime was committed and who did it. I guess it is in line with my other puzzle solving passions (like jigsaw puzzles, sudoku puzzles, crossword puzzles, and my new favorite: kakuro puzzles).

I am thrilled that “Murder, She Wrote” reruns are being shown every night on Hallmark Channel. Believe it or not, this is my favorite thing to watch while I am unwinding to go to bed. Forget David Letterman of Jay Leno. I spend my late nights with Jessica Fletcher. I will never forget talking to a college friend of mine way back when “Murder, She Wrote” was still in production. He said, “That would be a great show if it weren’t for the old lady.”

Well, respectfully, I disagree. As much as we have been conditioned to expect that crime solvers are supposed to be gruff, cynical middle-aged men, I think Jessica Fletcher is a perfect role-model. I sure wouldn’t’ want to be friends with her, since everywhere she goes, a murder happens. But here are her qualities that I think are worth emulating:

1) She is creative. I mean, the woman writes books! Fictional murder mysteries require a lot of creativity.

2) She is friendly. She has friends all over the world that she visits all the time. And she treats them with great respect and great care. She never manipulates them or passes judgment on their homes, clothes or choices of spouses.

3) She is focused. She does not allow anything (especially police officers who think she is a nuisance) from pursuing the truth when she wants to find it. And it is the truth she is seeking, not a convenient or obvious solution.

4) She is adventurous. She travels all over the place – by herself much of the time. She lives alone in a big house, and when something breaks or when she needs to learn about a new technology (like computers to replace her typewriter) she asks other people to teach her what she needs to know to do it herself.

5) She has no regrets. She is a widow who loved her husband, but does not allow memories of what her life used to be like during her happy marriage to prevent her from living fully in the present.

6) She is not concerned with playing a defined role in life. She continually defies expectations. Nobody expects a widowed 60-year-old former school teacher of her generation to become a best-selling author or to solve crimes all over the world. But she really doesn’t care what the societal expectations of an “old lady” are. She just does what she is good at and loves to do.

7) She is not egotistical. She doesn’t spend time defending herself, making sure she gets credit for her deductive ability or bragging to others. Her interest is in getting to the truth, not proving that she is right.

8) She notices everything! She is so aware that she notices discrepancies in what people say and the arrangement of physical objects. This is the key to solving all those crimes, of course. But think of all the other benefits of that kind of presence. She understands her friends’ values better. She can make better decisions for her own protection. It is amazing.

9) She says, “No,” and means it. Sometimes it is to having dinner with her friend, Seth when she wants to work on her book. Sometimes it is to a flirtatious man. In any case, she is very aware of what she is willing to do and not willing to do, and states it clearly and politely. That way, she doesn’t play the martyr doing things she doesn’t want to do, and she doesn’t take responsibility for other peoples’ desires and expectations.

10) She doesn’t mind that some of her interests don’t seem to go together. For example, she likes cooking and solving murders. She is not concerned that our society has an idea that a crime solver is interested in macho things. She is not playing a role, she is a cook and a crime solver, so what does she care about what others think.

So, I have decided that my friend is entirely wrong about “Murder, She Wrote” being a great crime solving show, in spite of the main character. I think it is a great show because of the integrity and unexpectedness of this fascinating mature woman. How inspiring to all of the people out there who don’t quite fit the stereotypical profiles of their professional. All of the little boys who dream of being ballet dancers, mid-career moms who dream of becoming firefighters, and senior citizens who want to build houses for the homeless… follow Jessica’s lead.

By the way, it seems that Angela Lansbury, the actress who plays Jessica Fletcher, shares many of her character’s fine qualities. I read a few days ago that she is currently serving as the spokesperson for the ALS Association. At age 82, she explains why she has not been appearing in many roles lately. “The parts that I'm offered are often old, decrepit women, and I refuse to play those roles! There are actors who will, and do it very, very well. I could do it rather well too. But I'm not going to. I want women my age to be represented the way they are, which is vital, productive members of society." Way to go Angela!

Springtime in Southern California

Aah – springtime in Southern California. It is so unbelievably beautiful here this month. A “perfect storm” of winter rains and mild March temperatures have turned the hills of Los Angeles and Ventura Counties into a bloom-fest. Much to my delight (and the bane of allergy sufferers) all of the trees, wildflowers and grasses came back to life at exactly the same time this year.

With a more flexible schedule this year, I have had much more opportunity to spend time in the great outdoors. I even have a bit of a farmers tan already. I can walk right out my door and get to the park behind the library with the duck pond in just ten-minutes. I enjoy feeding the ducks and watching people play with their kids on the playground. On the way home, I walk through a bigger park – one that has a big open field, horse corrals, a community garden, and a dog park. What a taste of rural living in a suburban world!

My favorite though, is hiking through the hills. I seem to get some of my best ideas while walking in nature. With the early onset of daylight savings time this year, one of my friends has invited me to take a weekly hike with her after work on Tuesdays. Both of us are shutterbugs, so we get more picture taking done than walking sometimes!

NATIVE VS. NON-NATIVE PLANTS

In the midst of the temporarily green grasses, giant sycamores lining creek beds, and majestic oaks dotting the hills, I notice the wildflowers. I am especially excited by the subtle purple of the lupine and the glowing orange of the California golden poppies. I used to get excited also about the swaths of mustard flowers that turn the hills from green to yellow late in the wildflower season.

I now know that the mustard is not a native plant, but an import that came to California along with the European settlers. Like palm and eucalyptus trees and the manicured lawns and maple trees that adorn front yards all over the region, the mustard caught on big and thrived here. I don’t know why people feel compelled to come to a beautiful new place, and rather than appreciate the native landscape and rhythm of the seasons, they feel compelled to try to turn it into the place they came from.

Mustard and other non-native grasses are thriving here to the point of choking out the native grasses beyond the point of no return. The non-native grasses are not adapted by evolution to the unique summer dry season in California, and may a major cause of the more frequent wildfires we have been experiencing in the last decade or so. Ironically, firefighters spray the hillsides of recently burned areas with a seed mixture to encourage quick growth to avoid deadly landslides during the rainy winter months. But this practice is furthering the growth of non-native grasses and likely contributing to the next round of wildfires.

Now that I know more about the mustard flowers and their role in our landscape here, suddenly they are not as beautiful to me. Likewise, knowing how palms and eucalyptus help spread fires, and how the water-intensive lawns and ornamental trees contribute to the water shortages plaguing the American West, has diminished their beauty in my eyes.

I guess it is kind of like another phenomenon that I experience. I have noticed that I think all of my friends are very good looking. People who have been mean to me are ugly. My perception of people’s appearance is affected by my perception of their personality. Now that I put it in writing, it seems kind of silly, but understandable.

GRATITUDE

So to take my mind off of non-native vegetation and wildfires, I have been focusing on gratitude. It started when my friend first invited me on the Tuesday evening hikes, and then an outing to the Descanso Gardens and Griffith Observatory. I found myself gushing, “This was so fun – exactly what I needed. Thank you for inviting me!” What I noticed was that I felt great when I was feeling gratitude.

I have other moments of joy during which I feel gratitude – especially when my cat curls up to cuddle with me, and then my kitten sits on my shoulder and purrs. I could burst from feeling so lucky to have these sweet, loving creatures in my life. So now, in addition to the spontaneous moments of gratitude, I have been deliberately practicing gratitude.

When I am hiking, I remind myself how grateful I am to live so close to all these great hiking trails through beautiful hills – plus having such great weather that I can basically enjoy them year-round. When I get an email from a friend, I think, “I am so grateful that this person is my friend.” When I curl up in bed at night, I think, “I am so grateful to have such a comfortable bed and soft sheets.”

The more I practice gratitude, the easy it gets. Plus, I focus more on the things I am grateful for, giving less room for unpleasant thoughts.